But I don't wanna...

The hardest thing about coming back from total laziness for me is getting moving. Its not the motivation, its the first step out the door.

In the last year I cannot tell you how many times I have been motivated to get back out there. I have had many, many days where I actually put on my running clothes because I was SO motivated and this time I am gonna do it!! Shorts, shirt, running shoes. Everything right down to actually putting my Garmin on my wrist and grabbing a bondiband. I was ready to go but rarely left the house.

I have so much motivation I can taste it so that isn't the problem for me. I don't talk myself out it, I don't lose momentum. I just stop. I sit on the couch or start doing something around the condo. Anything but go out that door and I tell myself that its ok.

That ends now.

I have joined a group that is keeping track of miles with the goal of 1,000 this year. I have started making dates, written in ink, to meet with friends and run. Or walk. Hell, if I get out there and crawl I will be happy. Just so long as I get out there. Motivation isn't what I lack, its not what gets me out the door. For me its accountability and I am going to make myself as accountable as I can to as many people as I can.

Anything that gets me out that door. Tomorrow I have a running date and I am excited and terrified and motivated but the best thing is that I am accountable.

Where did it go...

I just realized that it has been a year since I started this blog and other than a few minutes ago it had also been a year since I posted. Its funny to me that the post I did earlier was about not posting.

In the last year I have ran but only sporadically. I have completed races as well, but not as many as I wanted to complete. I have earned medals, sometimes by the skin of my teeth. I have made plans and watched those plans disappear like smoke in the wind. Lots of changes, none of which made it as a blog entry. Lots of emotions running amok and a few moments where I didn't feel anything at all. I couldn't say if those moments were good or bad memories at this point. I wonder where it all went, 2010 flew by and I couldn't honestly say that I accomplished anything. That saddens me greatly and I am determined to not let that pattern continue. I guess we will see where my determination will take me.

I am optimistic

Ummm yeah

This blog is tough! I give big props to the people who maintain their blogs. I can't seem to do it! What is really weird to me about that is... I love to write! Yet somehow my love of writing doesn't seem to want to come out for my blog. Maybe its that I forget that it's here? I have to wonder if I would post more if I had a reminder of some sort so I have decided to set up an 'alarm' sort of thing to remind me to blog. At this time I have one follower and honestly, I don't know who he is and once he sees this post he may unsubscribe but that is ok and I have no ill thoughts about that because right now this is for me.